You are not what you have. Decide who you are and become that.

My name is Ellieana Brockman and I have Bipolar II.

Please note that I did not say "My name is Ellieana Brockman and I am Bipolar II."

A good thing for people who suffer with mental illness to remember is that you are not what you have. 

A cancer patient would never say, "Hello, my name is ____ and I am cancer."

Why?

Because that is ridiculous. 

What you have and who you are is completely different. I am not Bipolar. I suffer from Bipolar. I might even go as far as to say Bipolar is apart of me. But having Bipolar does not define me. It does not define who I am. 

When I was first diagnosed with Bipolar II, I really struggled. I though that my whole life, the ups and downs that I was going through, were fairly normal. In fact, even with having Bipolar, I am still able to lead a very normal life. It is the semi manic episodes and deep depressive states that stunt my life in short episodes. But, I have gaps between these episodes, sometimes weeks or months, when I am living a normal life, like a normal person! 

It's great!

If I could suggest one thing to those who struggle with mental illness, it would be for you to find who you are without allowing your illness to define you.

One time I had a teacher who completed an exercise in class with me. He said, 

"What are your goals?"

I thought for a second...

I couldn't really think of a whole lot of them. I started thinking and came of with the typical "lose 5 lbs, buy a house, graduate from college.. blah blah blah."

Then he said,

"Now, I am going to give you 1 million dollars. You are able to spend it however you like, but you are not able to go above the 1 million dollar mark. With this money, what would you do with it?"

After the scenario was presented and I was able to let my mind run ransom with financial freedom, the list started pouring out of me.
  1. Build a house
  2. Purchase a reliable car
  3. Travel the world with my Husband and Dog
  4. Have a baby
  5. Graduate from college
  6. Start my own business
  7. Become a life coach
  8. Learn a second language
  9. Learn a third language

And then I started realizing that I have 1 MILLION DOLLARS and I was limiting myself to such mediocre goals, ones that I could accomplish now if I really wanted to. My goals started to become all of the ones above plus:

  1. Start a non profit camp for those with special needs
  2. Start a program to assist people in paying off their debt
  3. Start a small homes community for those who are homeless
  4. Travel to different areas of the world that are poverty stricken and help where I am needed
  5. Assist in building schools
  6. Become an influential speaker for women without Hope
  7. Volunteer at a local animal shelter
  8. Visit the sick at children/regular hospitals
  9. Start a scholarship fund for single parents trying to go back to school
  10. Start a mental illness awareness campaign 
  11. Free photography for women in need of Hope, Comfort, Love, Support, and anyone in need of a reminder that they are a "#babe"
My teacher then said, 

"Now look at your list. Those are your goals. You allowed your financial situation to sit in the way of goal making."

I began to look at my goals that I had created with my fake 1 million dollars. I really liked the rich person I had become, because all I wanted to do was help others! I realized who I really was through this exercise, and because of it, I have made sure everything that I am accomplishing in life matches up with the goals I created in that classroom. 

I am Ellieana Brockman. I enjoy financial stability, not so that I can live an extravagant lifestyle, but so that I can give my family security. I am Ellieana Brockman and I am passionate about helping others. I am Ellieana Brockman and I love helping others realize their potential and assisting those who need a push in creating the best lives for themselves and their families. 

I am Ellieana Brockman and I love people. 

I have Bipolar II, social anxiety, and depression. 

But I am not those things. 

I am kind. I am smart. I am determined. I am selfless. I am caring. I am passionate. I am hard working. I am a mother to a dog and a wife to a wonderful husband. I am a daughter. I am a niece. I am an aunt. I am a daughter of God and a provider of Hope and Peace. I am charismatic, sometimes drama, and often stubborn. 

I know who I am and that has helped me incredibly through my mental health diagnosis. These illnesses are something I will struggle with my whole life. But I will never allow them to stop me from completing my goals and becoming who I am meant to be. 

I am not broken. I am not lost. I am not worthless. I am not crazy. I am not dangerous. 

I am strong. I am capable of loving fully and without limitations. I am worthy of that type of love in return. 

I am Ellieana Brockman and I am passionate about stopping the stigma on #TheInvisibleBattle.

#StopTheStigma



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